Changing the world one business,
one home, one person at a time
My daughter is having a really tough time. She takes one step forward and 10 backwards. School is difficult for her and kids seem to be meaner these days. She’s a 5 in a Kun bedroom. I want to protect my children. What should I do? Susan, Orange County, CA
First, what I have found is that earth people (those with numbers 2, 5, or 8) are more susceptible to bullying and abuse than other types. Eight-type people have more stamina within the earth types. Two-type people are more vulnerable than 8s. Five-types are the most vulnerable – whether it is attracting energy leeches or people who bully. There is something about earth-type’s aura of compassion that draws in others who won’t take responsibility for their actions – they push it off on others.
That your daughter is a 5, this is a tough year on her anyway. This is a 6 hard-metal year. Metal draws from earth. In addition, the 3-conflict star is in the SW (Kun) direction this year, so she's sleeping in conflict energy. Your home's energy (flying-star calculations) may show other detrimental influences.
If I were you, I’d obtain a professional consult. I know you’re looking for a way to do it yourself but if what I’m describing applies, why dabble when there’s so much you don’t know? The learning process goes way beyond book knowledge. It takes years to master. Meanwhile, you can help her, your entire family, and your home. When we learn about ourselves, and work with our environments (mind, body, spirit, school, work, community, etc.), we are better able to protect ourselves. Over the course of a lifetime, a consult will pay for itself many times over.
Thank you for the question. I’m in California often if I can be of help. ~Diana
School will let out soon, and Spring is here. It’s a time to think creatively … whether that’s planting or how our children will spend their summer vacation.
I met with a client recently to discuss their landscaping. Due to funds, they have decided to do the labor themselves. Their main concern was digging as this activity is one that is physically challenging for many of us. I suggested he enroll his son. He laughed, saying any chore he asks his son to perform becomes such a battle that it is easier to do it himself. Sound familiar? Well, if whining about it enough gets a child out of it, guess what… it worked and they’ll continue that pattern. Can you teach a young dog new tricks (or an old dog a new twist). Yes, you can!
Allow me first to begin by saying that paying your child an allowance to perform chores also establishes a pattern. I believe that’s an area that we (and I include myself here) have set the stage for instant gratification. CEOs have been queried regarding the new work force. One of their complaints is that our youth not only want premium starting wages, but a bonus for showing up for work. We can teach our children that their contribution is part of the whole—meaning, as a household member they need to help maintain the household. As a human on this planet, we need to help maintain it. It goes without saying that some adults could learn this lesson too, but I digress. Now, allowances may not apply to teens, as they need to learn money management. Parents (and schools) would do well to teach teens how to save, budget, spend, and invest. Help them learn lessons that we didn’t (thus why credit card debt is so high).
So, a few tips to make chores fun:
● Place treasures under piles of clothes, stacks of papers, heaps of toys, or even simply under things to be dusted. Treasurers are in the eye of the beholder, in other words whatever a treasure would be for that child. How about a gift certificate for an afternoon with you to do whatever they want? Of course, be prepared for what may come, and you may be delighted at their creativity. Take this opportunity to teach them about SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely). Avoid using money or food, and try to accommodate their request within a few days. This method will fail if you never get around to honoring their request.
● Some people are 'list people' and some aren’t, still it is a good idea to show children the concepts of tracking and accomplishment. Create a list of chores for each child and as they complete a task, mark their list with a smiley face or star. If all tasks are complete by the end of the week, present them with a ribbon of some sort (example, one that says “I make a difference”), a certificate, or a movie of their choice (and make it a family night).
● Have a race. Set a timer for 8 minutes. The child who places displaced items into their rightful place wins. Another idea can be for you to identify items that need to be gathered (trash, recycling, items to be donated, etc.) and whoever collects the most in that time wins.
● This is one that I read on an article at MSN.com. Appoint someone to be Inspector D. Clutter. Armed with a laundry basket and plastic police badge from the dress-up box, this person roams the house and puts stray belongings into clutter "jail" (the basket). To set an item free, its owner (Mom and Dad included!) must do a chore.
It’s up to us to build our support team and our children can be an integral part of it. I find most people (adults and children) really do want to help but sometimes don’t know how. We need to keep in mind that children, as part of their learning process, experiment with commands, boundaries, and rules. Show them healthy ways to deal with all of them. Let me know how the tips work for you.
Like this blog entry? This month's webinar is all about landscaping and gardening -- a wonderful example of doing something with your children and grandchildren. See the fruits of your labor grow and blossom. Sign up now to ensure a seat. The wonderful benefits of a webinar: 1) You can attend from anywhere in the comfort of your surroundings; 2) You get visual aides as well and participate in live conversations; and 3) You can receive a certificate of attendance and apply it toward your field of study.
Can't attend the webinar? At least benefit from this month's special, the landscape table.
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry Truman
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2016 is a “two” year from a Feng Shui perspective. That means when we are not balanced, we can experience health and wellness issues (to include digestion, OB/GYN, immune, bowels) and relationship issues. Witness the Zika virus affecting pregnant women, their fetus, and immune systems.
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You may ask what being a grandparent has to do with Feng Shui. My answer is, ‘Feng Shui is our reaction to the environment.’ Family is a piece of that puzzle.
Reflect back to when you heard you were becoming a grandparent, or fantasize about what it will be like. Did you or will you think, “I’m not ready for this?” Or, were you like (or will you be like) me ... so excited? The honor of a new life in our family meant many things, and I couldn’t help but also daydream at the prospect of playing again, and freedoms I didn’t feel I had as a parent. It is said that ‘once a man, twice a child;’ (Rabbis) -- meaning we are born and die with limited mental capabilities, yet live as adults once. While debatable, you get the concept.
Growing up, I did not want to listen when my parents discussed walking a mile in snow to go to school. Certainly, our children don’t want to hear the ‘same old’ from us. In most cases, they can’t relate. Actually, my mother never went to school. She was in an Australian orphanage, never feeling wanted (and before education and school was mandated). Dad left home at 16 to join the Navy because his father passed, and his Mother couldn’t afford five children during the depression (one with a disability). As far as grandparents, I only knew one. She came to live with us following an auto accident, and on a good day she tolerated us.
Before both my parents passed, I asked each if we could go through pictures. Mom was an amateur photographer so she was delighted to dig the photos out. This endeavor was one of the most memorable times I had with them. Instead of asking what the pictures were ... I asked what they were going through at the time, who their support group was, and what their joys and fears were. After all, we all have heavy boots to wear (something to learn, ways that we suffer). My parents met during World War II and my uncles all served in the military. The reality is that life doesn’t come with an instruction manual (whether a parent, sibling, spouse, parent, or for us as individuals). The questions I asked my parents were open ended, and invoked a bigger-picture explanation. Their answers provided a real glimpse into their lives.
So, this article is about children. We can ask ourselves how our lives would be different “if.” We can’t go back (at least not yet) so it is our duty to go forward. Learn from the past and don’t make the same mistakes. My first pregnancy was an ectopic one so I never saw my child. My second was my daughter (who eventually passed over). Keeping a long story short, decades later, my granddaughter was born. Gems that I have learned and want to share with you are listed below in a short list. The list isn’t inclusive of course, and it provides a place to start. Remember, the youth of today is the future of tomorrow. Help create the future!
8 Feng Shui Ways to Be a Grandparent:
There are wonderful books these days that offer more ideas, but I hope this has provided tips on ‘being’ with a grandchild. It is easy to get caught up in doing and buying, but ‘being’ means sharing ourselves.
May you be exceedingly, generously, and joyfully blessed,© ~Diana
This Month’s Feng Shui Energy